P-spot Book Your How-to Guide on Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking

November 26, 2013

Get the “Bottoms Up” Anal Pleasure Kit from Lucky Bloke

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 12:15 pm

Bottoms Up Kit from Lucky BlokeWhen you’re on the go or on the road, it’s important to have your gear ready. There’s nothing worse than not being able to enjoy a prostate massage simply because you’re out of gloves or lube. And when you want an evening pegging and anal intercourse, you want the best condoms around.

I’ve teamed up with Lucky Bloke to create the “Bottoms Up” Anal Pleasure Kit to make sure you have everything you need to make your backdoor adventures great! Each one includes:

  • Lube samplers: Please Gel, überlube, Sliquid Silk, Pjur Original
  • Condoms: Kimono Thin, Kimono MicroThin Large, Skyn, Skyn Large, Crown Skinless Skin
  • GLYDE Dams Strawberry & Vanilla
  • Intimate wipe from Swipes
  • Two pairs of nitrile gloves

Put one of these in your bag and you’re ready for whatever happens. And at the end of the night, the Swipes Intimate Wipe makes clean-up super easy.

You can get your own Bottoms Up kit at Lucky Bloke for only $18.99. That’s a great deal and it’s sure to make your next night of anal and prostate pleasure even more fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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November 23, 2013

The Pulse Oscillating Vibrator Will Rock Your World

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 12:57 pm

Pulse Oscillating StimulatorI get a lot of questions about prostate massage and pegging, and one of the most common is, “what about pleasuring the penis while we’re doing this?” During a prostate massage, some people like to use their other hand for that, though it can be tricky to coordinate everything. And when you’re pegging, you sometimes need both hands to hold yourself up.

A lot of people simply have the receiver stroke his cock, and that’s a really fun way to do it. But if you want to turn things up to 11, you should try the Pulse Oscillating Vibrator.

If you’ve never used a vibrator on your penis, you have no idea what you’re missing. The nerves in the penis are very similar to the nerves in the clitoris, so it makes sense that a lot of men enjoy vibrators, especially around the head. But most vibrators aren’t designed with penises in mind, so they’re either the wrong size, the wrong shape, or both. That’s where the Pulse really stands out.

The coating is silicone, so you can use any water-based or oil-based lubricant with it. Simply lube up your cock and slide it into the toy. The wings are flexible to fit most penises, and it works with a soft and a firm cock, and there are gentle ridges for added stimulation. Inside the toy, there’s a vibrator with nine speeds and it’s built to focus the sensation on the most sensitive area around and under the head of the penis. Most other toys have a low-amplitude vibration, which makes them buzzy or tickly. The Pulse has high-amplitude oscillation that create a deeper sensation that feels amazing.

If you have an erection, you can easily hold the Pulse right where you want it. If your penis is less firm, you can rest the toy on your body and let it cradle your penis. Gripping the wings will squeeze the vibrator against the shaft of your penis for a deeper vibration, or you can simply allow it to vibrate against you for a lighter touch.

However you use it, the Pulse makes prostate play so much easier because it frees things up. During a massage, the giver can easily hold it in place without having to worry about trying to coordinate their different hands. It’s also really simple to use during pegging, in almost any position. The one improvement that I can see would be a way to rest it on the bed so it would stay in place in a rear-entry position.

One of the best things about the Pulse is that it feels amazing no matter how firm your penis is. Since a lot of men find that anal penetration causes their erections to get softer (that may be because the muscular relaxation that allows penetration means less blood is trapped in the penis), the fact that this toy works like that is fantastic. In fact, some users even orgasm and ejaculate with a totally soft penis!

This toy is rechargeable in any USB port and runs for up to two hours, depending on the speed. Since it’s silicone, it’s pretty easy to clean, although you can’t submerge it in water so wiping it down seems like the best bet.

Here’s a short video from the maker, showing some of the other ways to use the Pulse. You can pick one on at sex-positive stores everywhere!

PULSE by Hot Octopuss from Adam Lewis on Vimeo.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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October 1, 2013

Orgasm From Prostate Stimulation Alone?

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , — Charlie @ 4:28 pm

Here’s a question I got from a reader:

Is it possible to ejaculate from prostate stimulation alone? If so, is it a matter of time..using vibration..or applying more pressure perhaps? I have seen videos online of men having a hands free orgasms or ejaculating a slow stream of cum as they stimulate themselves. I have had unbelievable sensations where I felt like I was about to orgasm any moment but that’s as far as it would go. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

While it is possible to ejaculate from prostate stimulation on its own, that might not be what’s happening in all of those videos. Prostate massage can cause the gland to produce much more fluid than usual, and it can certainly start coming out of the urethra during prostate play. However, in many of the videos that I’ve seen, the fluid is clear. That means that it’s prostatic fluid rather than ejaculate. Prostatic fluid is one part of ejaculate, but it’s not all that’s there.

As far as what causes this particular response, it seems to vary from one guy to another. You’ll probably need to experiment with different techniques to see what works for you. A vibrator can be useful because it gives you consistent stimulation over along period of time without getting tired like fingers do. They can also help you ramp up and ramp down to vary what you do, which keeps the prostate from tuning out. The Pop Your Top is a great one because it can give you intense sensations, and is made from silicone, so it’s easy to clean. You may also find that prostate-only ejaculation happens more easily during a long, slow, extended prostate massage session rather than one that leads more quickly to orgasm. The more aroused you are, the more likely it is to happen.

I also don’t want you to get to goal-oriented. A lot of men I’ve spoken with have enjoyed prostate play for many years without having that particular experience, just as many women enjoy G-spot stimulation without ever ejaculating. So don’t get too caught up on having any particular outcome. It might happen for you, or it might not. Or it might happen sometimes, and not other times. In fact, a lot of people say that the more they tried to make it happen, the harder it was.  If you focus on enjoying yourself and letting whatever experience come (no pun intended!), no you have a great time to matter what. In my experience, prostate-only ejaculation is all about letting go, rather than reaching for a particular goal. Just like G-spot ejaculation, it often happens by relaxing into it instead of striving for it.

The Multi-Orgasmic ManIt’s also possible to have non-ejaculatory orgasms from prostate massage. That’s because ejaculation happens primarily in the pelvis, while orgasm happens throughout the entire body especially the brain. Some men find that tantra and other sacred sex practices help them learn how to do this. The idea is to channel sexual energy throughout your entire body rather than keeping it focused just in the pelvis. It can take some time to learn, but it’s definitely worth it! The book The Multi-Orgasmic Man does a great job of explaining how to do this in easily understood, accessible language.

Just remember, this is all about having fun. So explore and experiment, but don’t forget to enjoy yourself!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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August 15, 2013

Take Your Prostate Massage To The Next Level With The Aneros Helix Syn

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 5:38 pm

Helix Syn by AnerosI’ve been a big fan of the Aneros prostate massagers ever since their first products came out. Their unique designs are based on extensive research, and they really know their stuff. But the company isn’t content to rest on their past successes. They keep coming out with new toys.

On the surface, the Helix Syn is similar to the other Aneros prostate massagers. Designed for hands-free use, the toy levers into the prostate with each contraction of the pelvic floor. That means you can use it on its own, or you can combine it with other pleasures, including solo sex, oral play, or intercourse. But the Helix Syn offers amazing options that toys from other companies simply can’t match.

The inner core is rigid, but the outer layer is made from their Velvet Touch Silicone. The combined texture is amazingly similar to the way that a finger feels- firm on the inside, with a softer layer around it. The Helix Syn offers sensations that are more like a massage from a finger than anything else I’ve ever tried.

Take a look at the part of the base that curves upward. It’s meant to rest on the perineum, which creates a levering action when you squeeze the right muscles. (The same muscles that make your erection bounce. They also squeeze during ejaculation.)  What makes that arm different is that it’s flexible, rather than rigid. You might think that that means you’d get less sensation, but if you have well-toned muscles, you’ll have amazing control over how the toy moves.

If you’ve been doing your exercises, you can get the Helix Syn to provide light touch, deeper sensation, or anything in between. You do need to have pretty good muscular control to get the most out of your experience, so if you haven’t been doing your Kegels, you might do better with the MGX Classic. (Here’s my write-up about it.) Keeping your PC muscle in shape with Kegel exercises makes any kind of prostate play a lot more fun, so check out this post for some tips.

One thing- since the Helix Syn is so light and relies on fairly subtle motions, you’ll get more pleasure from it if you aren’t moving around a lot. So if you want to use it during intercourse, it works better if you’re on your back with your partner on top of you. If you’re doing a lot of thrusting, you probably won’t have as much control over how it moves. But it’s really amazing during oral sex or handjobs!

The insertable length is 4 inches (just over 10 com), so it’s the perfect length to reach the prostate. It’s about as wide as a finger, so it’s pretty easy to insert, even if you’re new to prostate play. You can use it with any water-based or oil-based lubricant, but don’t use silicone lubes since some of them bond with silicone toys and ruin them. And clean-up is easy. Just wash it with soap and hot water.

When you’re ready to experience a prostate massage that’ll rock your world, give the Helix Syn a try. It’s one of the most amazing toys I’ve ever used.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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May 14, 2013

The Aneros Vice Vibrating Silicone Anal Toy Will Rock Your World

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 12:43 pm

When you’re ready to experience the ultimate in hands-free prostate pleasure, you don’t need to look any further than the Aneros Vice. This amazing gadget has it all.

As with all of their other products, the folks with Aneros took their time to create something special. Made from body-safe silicone, the Vice is designed to rest comfortably against the prostate. With an insertable length of 4″, it’s long enough to hit the spot without being too big. But what makes the Vice really stand out is the vibrator.

Most anal toys either focus the vibration at the base, where it’s great for anal sensations but not so fun for the prostate, or they’re really buzzy, which can make the prostate tune out. For the Vice, the vibrator is long enough to put the tip right where the prostate is, maximizing your pleasure. And rather than being a buzzy little motor, the vibe is ultra-quiet and offers pulsing vibrations that are much more enjoyable for prostate play. There are three patterns, each of which has three levels of intensity, so you have lots of choices.

Like the rest of the Aneros line, the Vice can be moved by contracting your pelvic floor, so you can lever it into your prostate for a deeper vibration. You can also wear it during sex and every time you thrust or move your hips, it’ll massage your p-spot. It’s an incredible combination that nothing else comes close to.

Since the Vice is made from silicone, it’s super easy to clean. Just slide the vibrator out and wash it with soap and water. The vibe is water-resistant, so you can drop it in the sink, too. And if you want to disinfect the silicone, just wash it and then put it in the top rack of a dishwasher or boiling water for five minutes. It couldn’t be easier.

The only difficulty you might have with the Vice is that pressing the button on the vibe to change speeds can be tricky when there’s lube on it. It’s definitely easier if you wipe any lube off before trying to adjust the setting. I always suggest laying a towel down before prostate play, just to be sure to not get lube on the sheets, so it’s not hard to grab a corner of it.

All in all, the Aneros Vice is a serious winner and there’s nothing else like it. When you’re ready for a toe-curling experience pick one of these up and get ready for a fun ride!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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May 9, 2013

Prostate Massage Without Penetration: The Sweet Spot

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 2:26 pm

I often get asked whether anal penetration is the only way to do prostate massage. You might be surprised to hear that the answer is no. You can do lots of fun prostate play by massaging the perineum, which is the area between the balls and the anus.
The prostate is a few inches above the perineum, so the sensations from a firm massage get transmitted through the muscles and other tissues in between, into the prostate. It’s not as intense as when you do anal penetration. Think of it like massaging someone’s shoulders when they’re wearing a sweater versus bare skin. But it’s a great way to add a little extra something to oral sex, or to try prostate sensations if you’re nervous about anal play, or if you just want to enjoy prostate pleasure but don’t feel like getting out the gloves and lube. In fact, so many guys enjoy it that we like calling it the “sweet spot.” Besides, that’s a much sexier name than “perineum.”

Massaging the sweet spot is more likely to feel good on your prostate if your penis is erect since the firmer tissue will transmit sensation more deeply. Finding the right point can take a little exploration. Put one or two fingertips right behind the scrotum and push in firmly. Hold for a few seconds before releasing, and then try a spot a little further towards the anus. Try different amounts of pressure, but don’t press so much that it’s uncomfortable. For most men, the sweet spot is closer to the anus than the balls, but it can vary.

What you’re looking for is an area where the pressure feels a bit different. It might feel like a slight tingle or other subtle sensation, especially if you’ve never done any direct prostate stimulation. It can be easier to find the sweet spot if you’ve also done prostate massage with anal penetration since you’ll be more familiar with where it is and how it feels.

Try doing long presses with your fingertips, or hold deep pressure and vibrate your fingers quickly. You can also try small circles, as long as you’re careful to not scratch with your fingernails. Some guys like to sit on a tennis ball or rolled up socks. And if you have a Magic Wand Vibrator (formerly known as the Hitachi), the super strong vibrations are perfect for sweet spot massage. Try it with a Silicone Pop Top for some fun variations on the texture.

If you’re doing this on a partner, you can try all of those tips, on their own or during oral sex or a handjob. You can also press deeply with the heel of your hand, or even make a fist and roll your knuckles over the area as if you were kneading dough. And if you’re doing prostate massage with a couple of fingers inside him, use your thumb or your other hand to stimulate his sweet spot.

It may take a while to feel the sweet spot, during this session or over the course of several sessions, so don’t give up right away. Have fun doing whatever you normally do, and let this exploration be the icing on the cake. Be sure to keep up familiar forms of stimulation so that the arousal stays high.

If you are looking all over the perineum and can’t find anything, take a break. Do something else you enjoy and try again in five or ten minutes. You might also try massaging the perineum during ejaculation. Since the prostate is most swollen and sensitive at that point, it’s more sensitive to pressure. Just remember- this is about feeling good, so don’t stress if it doesn’t happen right away. Have fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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May 8, 2013

The Jopen Ego e4: A Fun New Prostate Massager

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 11:21 am

Jopen Ego e4 at Good VibrationsI can tell that attitudes about prostate play are changing with all of the new massagers and toys available these days. The folks at Jopen recently sent me their latest p-spot pleasure toy, the Ego e4.

Like the rest of the Ego line, the e4 is a rechargeable vibrator and it plugs into any USB port. It’s covered in silicone, so it’s easy to clean, though there is a small opening in the base for the charging plug. Given how lube tends to get in the most unexpected places, I think it’s probably a good idea to cover this one with a condom.

The insertable portion is 3.5″ x 1.5″ (9 cm x 3.75 cm), which is pretty much a perfect size for reaching the prostate. Although anal novices might find that the width takes a little warm-up, it’s just wide enough to allow maximum surface area when the prostate expands during your arousal cycle.

There’s a vibrator in the bulb at each end of the toy, so when it’s all the way in, you’ll get sensation on the prostate and the perineum. That’s a big plus because perineum massage can send sensation up into the prostate from below. It’s not as intense as from direct contact through anal penetration, but the combination of the two together can be amazing. And while the motors are quite strong, the e4 is surprisingly quiet.

Once the e4 is charged and ready to go, you switch it on by holding down the button in the base. Keep holding it down until it reaches the intensity you want. To turn it off, just click the button. Unlike some anal vibrators, it’s not too difficult to adjust the speed while using it, but to lower the speed, you have to turn it off and then back on.

So how does the e4 work? For some things, quite well. The vibrations are strong enough to give amazing pleasure without that buzzy sensation that some toys have. You can use the base to lever the bulb into the prostate, if you want a deeper massage. It’s a bit too heavy for muscular contractions to lever it into the prostate, so unlike the Aneros products, lying on your back means moving it by hand. But if you’re face down, you’re working with gravity and you don’t need to control it manually.

One position that the e4 works really well for is sitting. When you rock your hips back, the corner of the toy acts like a pivot point and presses the bulb right into your p-spot. When you rock forward, the external vibe presses into your perineum. That makes it a great toy to use when sitting on the couch (like while watching a sexy movie or getting a blowjob) or while sitting on a chair. Skype sex or video chat, anyone?

You can also have a lot of fun with the e4 during intercourse. Missionary position, or a rear-entry position that lets you stand or kneel will probably work better than lying on your back.

There are some improvements I’d like to see for this toy. The hole for the charging port is a flaw. The magnetic induction chargers that some manufacturers use would be a big plus. I also think that being able to lower the intensity without turning the toy off would make it better, or even a remote control. I might also make the transition between the bulb and the neck more like a buttplug to make it easier to hold in in place. But beyond that, it’s a good design and works really well. If you enjoy prostate massage, give the e4 a try.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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April 9, 2013

Three Ways To Give An Amazing Prostate Massage

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , — Charlie @ 10:12 am

Prostate massage can be one of the most incredible sexual experiences. Fingers are incredibly sensitive and versatile, so you can give your partner all sorts of different pleasures. Here are some tips to supercharge your techniques.

First, more isn’t always better. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if a little is good, more will rock your guy’s world, but that’s not how it works. Think of it like music. You want it loud enough to hear, but not so loud that it hurts your ears. When you press too firmly on the prostate, you want that middle zone, too.

That can be a little tricky because when you get excited, it’s easy to go harder or faster than feels good for your partner. Try playing some music with a steady beat to keep you on your rhythm. If you catch yourself speeding up, just listen to the music to catch the right tempo! Go for something in the range of 110-120 beats per minute. Here’s a website that lists lots of different genres of music, sorted by speed. Find a few of your favorite songs and make a prostate playlist!

The same thing applies when we’re talking about how much pressure to use. Each guy is a bit different, so you’ll need to experiment. And how much pressure he likes will vary as his prostate engorges and the sensations change. Start off with about as much force as you use when you type, and then play with slightly less and a bit more. With some experimentation, you can zero in on what works for him. Just remember that there’s a maximum, after which it can become uncomfortable.

Second, change things up every so often. When you do the same thing over and over, the nerves get used to it and it stops feeling as good. It’s rather like tickling someone- if you don’t vary your technique, it’ll stop working. Every couple of minutes, switch up what you’re doing- tapping, circles, jostling, the “come hither” strokes (we describe three of them in our book). There are lots of different finger moves, so you have a lot to play with.

You can also change the intensity. When you go from deeper touch to softer, or the other way around, you’ll catch his attention and keep him focused on the pleasure. Or try your finger moves on different parts of the prostate. It’s big enough that you can work on one side and then the other, or the deeper portion and then the shallower portion. You can work the entire gland, and then just one area. You both might be surprised at how good that can feel.

Having said all that, when he’s getting close to orgasm, don’t vary what you’re doing. Stick with it because changing things up at that point can derail the process and actually lower the pleasure right when you want it most.

And lastly, ask him to tell you how it feels. The best way for you to know what effect your fingers are having is to get him to let you know. One good way to do that is pretty similar to getting your eyes checked. Do one technique for 15-20 seconds, and then do another one. Have him tell you which one he liked more. Another method is to have him tell you on a scale of 1-10 how much he’s enjoying what you’re doing. Each time you vary the technique, tempo, or pressure, ask him again. That’ll give you plenty of useful info for future sessions. Just remember that how he rates each technique might change as he moves through his arousal cycle.

So there you have it. Three easy ways to make prostate massage incredible. Pick up a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure (available in paperback and Kindle) for lots more tips and all the info you need to discover new ways to enjoy prostate play. Have fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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April 1, 2013

Supercharge Your Prostate Massage With The Hello Touch By Jimmyjane

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 10:10 am

I’m a big fan of prostate massage and there are a lot of great finger moves to drive your partner wild. And of course, there are plenty of fun vibrators for when you want to switch things up. Now, you can do both at the same time, for an experience that’s unlike anything else.

The Hello Touch by Jimmyjane isn’t the first fingertip vibrator, but it’s the best one yet. There’s a super slim vibe inside each of the two silicone pads which are connected to the battery pack. Just slip the battery pack onto your wrist and then put the vibes on. The vibration is more rumbly than buzzy, so it penetrates deeply and creates an amazing sensation. And it’s remarkably quiet, so unlike many battery vibrators, you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing you. Though the odds are that you’ll be making plenty of noise when you use it.

You can wear one vibe on your index and one on your middle finger for broader stimulation on the prostate, or put one on your index finger and the other on your thumb so you can massage the prostate and the perineum at the same time. Both options are pretty amazing. Using it is pretty intuitive- just do what you would usually do when you give a prostate massage.

Although Jimmyjane says that you can simply wash the vibes after use, I recommend putting them on and then slipping a glove on. It works best with larger gloves since your usual gloves might be a bit too snug to slip on over the fingerpads. In most circumstances, gloves that are too large for your hand bunch up and the folds make an in-and-out motion less pleasant, but the Hello Touch works best without that particular movement because you want constant contact. So don’t worry about folds from the gloves irritating the anus.

Insertion is a bit trickier since the pads add a little size to your fingertip. I suggest getting warmed up to the point of being able to accommodate two fingers before putting the vibe inside. (Yes, that means taking off your gloves and then using fresh ones, or using your other hand.) The vibration feels pretty amazing on the anus, even before you slip your fingers inside, so don’t forget to do lots of external massage. The Hello Touch is an amazing way to warm up for anal penetration.

Once you have the vibrator pads on the prostate, you’ll probably find that it works best when you have constant touch. So the “come hither” motion doesn’t work as well as maintaining contact and varying the pressure. Or move in circles, slide down from the deep end of the prostate, or use one finger to keep the vibrator touching the prostate while another finger curls and taps it. Any of those will work better than an on-and-off massage technique, and when you find the right one for your partner, he’ll definitely let you know. If you’re a fan of prostate milking, you’ll love the Hello Touch.

One of the big reasons I like this toy is that you can still get the closeness and connection of prostate massage, while also having the fun of a vibrator. Don’t get me wrong- I like other prostate vibrators, too. But they do lack that direct intimacy of two bodies in contact, and the Hello Touch allows that.

As amazing as the Hello Touch is, I do think there’s room for improvement. I’d like to be able to change the speed. After a while, the prostate gets used to a consistent level of stimulation and ramping up or down can intensify things. I’d also like to have the choice of pulsing the vibration, for the same reason. But you can always turn the vibrator off and continue the massage for a few minutes to let your partner’s body reset itself. When you turn it back on, it’ll feel more sensitive.

A few folks have reported that the silicone bands that hold the vibrators on your fingers are too tight. They stretch out pretty quickly, but if your fingers are large, rubber band a few pencils together and slip the vibrator over them for a while to loosen them up. And the company says that larger fingerbands and wristbands are available upon request. Hopefully, they’ll be in stores soon, too.

If you want some other uses for the Hello Touch, don’t forget that it can be just as fun to use it on the G-spot as on the prostate! Or play with your partner’s nipples, clitoris, or penis. Use it on the testicles and perineum during a blow job. Just be sure to take the glove off after it’s been inside someone’s ass before doing anything else with it! And women who enjoy clitoral vibration during intercourse will find that the slim profile makes this toy really easy to use in most sex positions.

The Hello Touch is made from high quality, body-safe silicone, and it’s phthalate-free. It’s also waterproof for easy cleaning, and runs for up to six hours on 2 AAA batteries. Jimmyjane offers a three year limited warranty, just in case. And the whole toy is small enough to make it easy to travel with, but be sure to take the battery pack out before packing it. There’s no reason to make TSA suspicious of your vibrating suitcase.

Jimmyjane makes some of the most well-designed and exciting sex toys and the Hello Touch is no exception. Pick yours up today and see for yourself how much fun is at your fingertips!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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February 19, 2013

Upcoming Workshop in Seattle! Hitting the Spot: Prostate Play & G-spot Pleasure

Filed under: Workshops & Appearances — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 11:23 pm

I’m always amazed at how many ways our culture tries to separate sexual response based on gender. Of course, there are many differences in how male and female sexuality work, but we have a lot more in common with folks of other genders than you might realize.

That’s because our sexual organs come from the same basic template. Depending on hormones and development, they grow into different patterns but the fundamental structures are much the same. For example, the penis and the clitoris are remarkably similar. They’re both made of erectile tissue that engorges during arousal and they have very similar nerves, which means that they respond to the same kinds of stimulation. That means (among other things) that a vibrator on the head of the penis can feel amazing and I’m always surprised that more guys haven’t tried it. Believe me- if you’ve never explored it, you’re missing out.

The outer labia and the skin of the scrotum are also pretty similar, which is why a lot of people of any gender enjoy a stretching or massage sensation there. Try gently gripping the skin between your thumb and index finger, and tug gently (or not so gently, if your partner prefers). It can be a great add-on during oral sex or a handjob.

Of course, we can’t forget the nipples. I’ve often heard it said that the clitoris is the only part of the body with no function other than pleasure. May I introduce you to men’s nipples? Kissing, biting, sucking, pinching, twisting- start off softly and ramp up. You might be surprised at how many guys love it just as much as women do.

With all of these pleasures we have in common, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise to hear that the prostate and the G-spot are pretty similar, too. Once you get past the fact that the prostate is best reached through anal penetration while most folks find vaginal play to be the best way to find the G-spot, most of the techniques are the same. Firm pressure (“stroke, don’t poke”) with either a curved toy or one with a bulb on the end usually feels amazing. If you’re using your fingers, the “come here” motion, circles, or sliding across with your fingertips are often favorites. And a lot of people like to combine prostate play with cock stimulation, just as G-spot play plus clitoral stimulation drives a lot of people wild.

That’s not all! Both prostate and G-spot orgasms are often described as bigger, more expansive, or more full-body than the focused or more concentrated orgasms folks often have from penis or clitoris stimulation.

With all that in common, it’s no surprise that many of the techniques people enjoy are much the same, but there are some important differences to know about, too. Our workshop Hitting the Spot: Prostate Play & G-spot Pleasure covers everything you need to know to see for yourself how much fun you can have with these super sexy erogenous zones. We’ll be at the Foundation for Sex-Positive Culture on March 2, 3-5 pm, followed by a book signing for The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men & Their Partners from 5-6 pm. Come on by, get some new bedroom tricks, and say hi!

Hitting the Spot: Prostate Play & G-spot Pleasure
Annex ~ Center for Sex Positive Culture
1608 15th Ave. W., Seattle, WA 98119
March 2, 2013
3pm – 6pm, workshop from 3-5pm
18+ with ID only
$25 at door; $20 in advance

Get tickets here.
Please share the event on Facebook and Fetlife.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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