P-spot Book Your How-to Guide on Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking

November 26, 2013

Get the “Bottoms Up” Anal Pleasure Kit from Lucky Bloke

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 12:15 pm

Bottoms Up Kit from Lucky BlokeWhen you’re on the go or on the road, it’s important to have your gear ready. There’s nothing worse than not being able to enjoy a prostate massage simply because you’re out of gloves or lube. And when you want an evening pegging and anal intercourse, you want the best condoms around.

I’ve teamed up with Lucky Bloke to create the “Bottoms Up” Anal Pleasure Kit to make sure you have everything you need to make your backdoor adventures great! Each one includes:

  • Lube samplers: Please Gel, überlube, Sliquid Silk, Pjur Original
  • Condoms: Kimono Thin, Kimono MicroThin Large, Skyn, Skyn Large, Crown Skinless Skin
  • GLYDE Dams Strawberry & Vanilla
  • Intimate wipe from Swipes
  • Two pairs of nitrile gloves

Put one of these in your bag and you’re ready for whatever happens. And at the end of the night, the Swipes Intimate Wipe makes clean-up super easy.

You can get your own Bottoms Up kit at Lucky Bloke for only $18.99. That’s a great deal and it’s sure to make your next night of anal and prostate pleasure even more fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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November 23, 2013

The Pulse Oscillating Vibrator Will Rock Your World

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 12:57 pm

Pulse Oscillating StimulatorI get a lot of questions about prostate massage and pegging, and one of the most common is, “what about pleasuring the penis while we’re doing this?” During a prostate massage, some people like to use their other hand for that, though it can be tricky to coordinate everything. And when you’re pegging, you sometimes need both hands to hold yourself up.

A lot of people simply have the receiver stroke his cock, and that’s a really fun way to do it. But if you want to turn things up to 11, you should try the Pulse Oscillating Vibrator.

If you’ve never used a vibrator on your penis, you have no idea what you’re missing. The nerves in the penis are very similar to the nerves in the clitoris, so it makes sense that a lot of men enjoy vibrators, especially around the head. But most vibrators aren’t designed with penises in mind, so they’re either the wrong size, the wrong shape, or both. That’s where the Pulse really stands out.

The coating is silicone, so you can use any water-based or oil-based lubricant with it. Simply lube up your cock and slide it into the toy. The wings are flexible to fit most penises, and it works with a soft and a firm cock, and there are gentle ridges for added stimulation. Inside the toy, there’s a vibrator with nine speeds and it’s built to focus the sensation on the most sensitive area around and under the head of the penis. Most other toys have a low-amplitude vibration, which makes them buzzy or tickly. The Pulse has high-amplitude oscillation that create a deeper sensation that feels amazing.

If you have an erection, you can easily hold the Pulse right where you want it. If your penis is less firm, you can rest the toy on your body and let it cradle your penis. Gripping the wings will squeeze the vibrator against the shaft of your penis for a deeper vibration, or you can simply allow it to vibrate against you for a lighter touch.

However you use it, the Pulse makes prostate play so much easier because it frees things up. During a massage, the giver can easily hold it in place without having to worry about trying to coordinate their different hands. It’s also really simple to use during pegging, in almost any position. The one improvement that I can see would be a way to rest it on the bed so it would stay in place in a rear-entry position.

One of the best things about the Pulse is that it feels amazing no matter how firm your penis is. Since a lot of men find that anal penetration causes their erections to get softer (that may be because the muscular relaxation that allows penetration means less blood is trapped in the penis), the fact that this toy works like that is fantastic. In fact, some users even orgasm and ejaculate with a totally soft penis!

This toy is rechargeable in any USB port and runs for up to two hours, depending on the speed. Since it’s silicone, it’s pretty easy to clean, although you can’t submerge it in water so wiping it down seems like the best bet.

Here’s a short video from the maker, showing some of the other ways to use the Pulse. You can pick one on at sex-positive stores everywhere!

PULSE by Hot Octopuss from Adam Lewis on Vimeo.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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September 18, 2013

Pegging Tips: The Mustang Silicone Dildo

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 1:10 pm

Mustang VixSkin Realistic DildoIf you’re looking for a great dildo for pegging, you should take a look at the Mustang Silicone Dildo by Vixen. It’s an ideal toy for beginners or experienced peggers.

The Mustang is made from VixSkin, which is Vixen’s amazingly realistic silicone formula. The inner core is firm, which gives you the stability you need, while the outer layer has a softer texture. As a result, the toy has a much more life-like feel, especially once it warms to body temperature. The head of the dildo is almost entirely made from the softer silicone, so in addition to being more realistic, it doesn’t poke the way that some toys can.

One thing I like about all of the VixSkin dildos is that they’re a lot more flexible than some other toys. They’re certainly firm enough to make penetration easy, but having a little bend allows you to get into different positions. When dildos are too rigid, a small shift in angle can make them go from “yum” to “ouch.” I like how the VixSkin toys makes it easy to change positions without that happening.

I’m also impressed with how life-life these dildos are. They’re not totally realistic, since they’re uniform in color from base to tip, but when the lights are low, that doesn’t matter so much.

OK, I can hear you asking, how does it feel? The answer is “amazing!” The flexibility makes it comfortable and the firmness is just enough to be able to get good pressure on the prostate. The life-life head is an ideal shape for massaging the prostate, but if the end of the dildo happens to poke into it on the in-stroke, it’s soft enough to not be uncomfortable. All in all, the Mustang feels awesome.

The Mustang is 6.5″ long x 1.5″ across (16.5 cm x 3.8 cm), so it’s a pretty reasonable size, both for the giver and the receiver. And since it’s 100% silicone, it’s non-porous and easy to clean. Just wash it with soap and hot water. If you want to disinfect it, wash it and then put it in boiling water for five minutes or the top rack of a dishwasher. Simple! Plus, it has a round base, so it’ll work with any harness with a ring, though I’m partial to the SpareParts Harnesses for their great fit and fantastic style.

If you’re looking for a new dildo, I really can’t say enough good stuff about the Mustang Silicone Dildo. Pick one up today and see for yourself how great it is!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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July 3, 2013

Troubleshooting Your Pegging Gear

Filed under: Sex Tips,Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , — Charlie @ 4:51 pm

Here’s a question that came in via Facebook:

We need a good harness and dildo. I know there’s issues with dildo materials being toxic, which is why I am hesitant to shop online. If you have recommendations I’d be thrilled.

The other issue I’ve had in the past has been dildo angle. Most harnesses cause a dildo to angle downward. I find this make anal insertion very problematic. A few dildos have an upward bend and this helps, but the harness tends to undo most of this.

Has anyone addressed this with a 45° upward harness? I think this would be a great invention. Most penises tend to angle upward like this; it makes insertion much easier for most positions.

OK, let’s take this one piece at a time. You’re right to be careful about what kinds of toys you use. For a long time, many sex toy manufacturers sold vibrators, dildos, and buttplugs that contained phthalates. These are chemicals that are used to soften plastics and they’re commonly used in shower curtains, linoleum floors, and many other household items. Several years ago, there was some research suggesting that they weren’t safe for use in baby products like teething rings because they caused neurological problems in young rats. This led to some understandable concern within the sex toy world, although the one piece of research that I’m aware of concluded that they are safe for up to one hour of use per day, except for pregnant or nursing women.

Nevertheless, a lot of people were worried about it, which led to some changes in the sex toy industry. Good Vibrations took the lead in discontinuing these products in 2007, and many other companies followed suit. Eventually most toy manufacturers stopped using phthalates, which is why you’ll sometimes see “phthalate-free” on the package.

Having said all that, if you pick a high-quality silicone dildo, like those made by Vixen Creations and Pleasure Works, you don’t need to be worried about it because they don’t use phthalates. Plus, these dildos are non-porous, so they’re easy to clean with soap and water. If you want to take it a step further, wash your dildo and then put it in boiling water for five minutes or the top rack of a dishwasher. (I’m a big fan of the Charm, and not just because I helped design it.)

So once you have a dildo picked out, you need to pick a harness that’ll work. You’re right that the shape of the dildo is important, especially since you’ll find that a curved toy works better for hitting the prostate. But it can be tricky to get the right angle. That’s usually due to the harness not holding the base firmly enough, or because of the angle of the wearer’s pelvis. Let’s take that one at a time.

Ideally, the base of the dildo should be right up against the wearer’s body. That means that you want a harness that’ll fit snugly enough to give solid support. It can be difficult if you like larger toys since the weight of the dildo will tend to pull it down, but you can minimize that if you find a harness with a good fit.

The Velvet Harness is a great one to start with since it’s super adjustable and reasonably priced. Get the base of the dildo on the wearer’s pubic bone. If it’s too low on her body, it’ll hang at the wrong angle. Adjust the waist strap, and then the thigh straps to get it firmly in place.

If you want a harness that looks a bit fancier and feels better for the wearer, try the Joque Harness by SpareParts. The material is softer and the wider waist strap often feels more comfortable. And while this harness rides a bit lower, the fabric is reinforced to minimize drooping. Some folks worry about it not holding the dildo as firmly against the body, but SpareParts does that on purpose because the base of the dildo will press into the clitoris with each thrust. A lot of women discover that they can even orgasm from pegging with one of these. And if you want something with a different look, check out the other gorgeous harnesses they make.

But even with the right harness, a dildo might hang down at a difficult angle. For some women, that’s because of the tilt of their pelvis. If someone’s hips tilt forward, their pubic bone will be pointing at a downward angle, which is going to make it more difficult to keep their dildo pointed upward. Stretching the lower back and strengthening the abs can help, but not for everyone.

The Bump And Grinder silicone dildo is angled upwards, and the base is designed to give extra clitoral stimulation to the wearer. I haven’t spoken to anyone who’s used it, and I’m curious to know if it works as it’s intended. I’d also like to hear about those ridges behind the head.

If your favorite dildo is tricky to get at the right angle, you can also play around with positions to make it easier. If the guy who’s receiving is on his back, put a pillow under his hips to lift his ass up. The Liberator Wedge and Ramp can help. (Here’s my review of them.) And you can also try holding the dildo by hand until it gets inserted, at which point, the receiver’s body will support it.

I hope that helps!

 

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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April 12, 2013

Add A Little Extra To Pegging With These Great Toys

Filed under: Sex Tips,Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , — Charlie @ 10:03 am

I get a lot of questions from women who want to try pegging or who have given it a shot, and want to get a little more pleasure out of the experience. Of course, lots of women get off on the experience of pegging, even if they don’t get much direct physical stimulation from it. But there are also some great toys that will give you some extra action.

Some harnesses let you place the base of your dildo low enough down that it rests on your clitoris. That means that every thrust presses it into you, which can be enough in itself for some women. I even know one dedicated harness user who added a clitoral hood piercing so that the bead on the ring would hit the spot. Now, that’s not something that everyone will want to do, but it does show how creative people get when it comes to sex!

Low-rise harnesses will work better for this, and Spareparts makes some awesome ones. The Tomboi and the Sasha are especially good because they’re designed to have a little stretch. When you pull back, the base of the dildo move a little away from your body, so when you push back in, you’ll get even more sensation. (Here’s a review of the Sasha.) One of the great features of these harnesses is that they simply pull on, so they’re super easy to use. They’re also machine-washable, making clean up a snap. I also like how the ring that holds the dildo is sewn in, rather that being held in by straps, because there aren’t any snaps to bump into anyone’s tender parts. A lot of women who have used these harnesses have said that they were able to orgasm from the clitoral stimulation, which makes pegging awesome!

Another great choice is the Feeldoe. You insert the bulb into your vagina and use your PC muscles to hold it there while using the other end on your partner. There’s also a vibrator for added fun, as well as small ridges to press against your clitoris. And just so you know, the shaft isn’t as long as it looks in the photo because the wearer’s body takes up a few inches of it. The insertable portion is about 6 inches (15 cm) long.

The Feeldoe can be a little tricky to hold onto, and the difficulty is that making the bulb bigger also makes it less comfortable for some women. If it slips out at the wrong moment, try wearing the Feeldoe in a low-rise harness to get a little extra support. It’s a great combination.

Want some other choices? Some harnesses like the Vibrating Corsette Harness have a mini vibrator that slips into a pocket in the front pad. If you enjoy vibrators, these can be a fantastic way to get some extra stimulation. These harnesses are super adjustable, machine washable, and quite comfortable. They’re also a great choice if you’re new to pegging because they cost less than some other models. That makes them a good starter harness for a lot of folks. Plus, the wider strap across the back looks really sexy.

If you like G-spot pleasure, take a look at the Smartballs. They have a small marble that rolls around inside of them. Insert them into your vagina and each time you move your hips, you’ll get a little hands-free G-spot action. The single ball might be easier for some women, especially during pegging, but if you want a lot of stimulation, try the double. The Smartballs are coated in body-safe silicone (including the string), so washing them is easy. I’ve also heard from some women who wear them when they go out dancing.

Speaking of toys that work well for pegging and for dancing, check out the Club Vibe. It looks like a standard bullet vibrator, but the battery pack picks up on any background noise to control the vibrator. It works really well at at club since each beat of the music will make it pulse. But you can also have a great time with it during sex since every time you or your partner makes a sound, the vibrator will switch on. There’s a lot of potential for a feedback loop: the more noise you make, the more it vibrates and the more it vibrates, the better it feels. Just don’t wake up the neighbors!

The Club Vibe 2.0 is a bit bigger, and it’s designed to slip into a pair of panties for a night out on the town. But I bet it would work really well with the Tomboi or Sasha harnesses. (I haven’t had anyone test this yet, so if you’ve given it a try, I’d love to hear how it worked.)

Don’t forget that lots of women enjoy anal play, too. You can wear a butt plug while pegging your partner. Just make sure that the bulb is wide enough relative to the neck to stay in during vigorous action. The Bootie Plug (reviewed here) and the larger Bootsy Plug both have an asymmetric shape that makes it easier to insert. Rather than going straight in, try sliding them in on a C-curve that follows the shape of the toy. The slim base means that you can put your legs in any position without losing the toy.

As you can see, there are lots of ways to make sure that pegging is as fun for you as it is for him. It takes a little creativity and some experimentation, but it’s definitely worth it. After all, sex is even more fun when you’re both seeing fireworks. Have fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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March 12, 2013

Five Great Positions For Pegging

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , , , , — Charlie @ 3:27 pm

We get a lot of folks asking us for tips to make pegging and anal intercourse work better for prostate play. Once you have your toys, lubricant, and other goodies, and you have your partner is all warmed up and ready to go, it’s time to figure out which positions you want to try. Of course, each combination of people will need to experiment a bit since successful sex positions are partly determined by size, flexibility, strength, and other factors. But here are a five of my favorite positions.

1) Face to face

This is one of the more popular pegging positions for a lot of people. Being able to see your partner’s face can be a lot of fun, and it keeps everyone’s hands available for penis stimulation. It usually works better if the receiver has his hips on a pillow to lift them up a bit because it gives easier access. It’s also good to put a pillow or two under his head. That makes it more comfortable, and curving the spine in a gentle C-shape can make the prostate easier to reach.

Have him raise his knees to his chest and support them in his hands to help relax the pelvic muscles and straighten out the curves of the rectum to give you a straight shot. You can also hold them up for him, like in the picture, to give a little extra support. Try it with his knees closer together or further apart. The more he can relax into the experience, the more fun you can both have!

2) Elbow and knees

If you like rear entry, put him on his elbows and knees, rather than hands and knees. That keeps the pressure off of his wrists, so he’ll last longer. And anal sex often works better if his hips are higher than his shoulders, so that’s another plus. You can grab his hips to control the depth, you can let him do the moving, or both!

Try having him move his knees closer together to raise him up or further apart to lower him down so you can get exactly the right angle. Aim the curve of your dildo downward towards his navel or it’ll miss his prostate. This is one big advantage dildos have over penises- you can rotate them to the best position. When he gets tired, slip a Liberator Wedge under him and keep on going.

3) Standing & bent over

Another fun variation on rear entry is to have him standing on the floor, bent over the bed or couch or kitchen table. Just like hands and knees, he can move his feet to raise and lower himself. And since he has the support of the surface under him, he can rest his body and let you take over.

Some guys have tight hamstring muscles, which can make this position a challenge. Roll up a towel and put it under his heels. When your heels are higher than your toes, it makes it easier to move your hips, which is one reason high heels can look so sexy. Of course, if you both enjoy having him wear high heels, that works just as well. But it’s not necessary, since the towel will do the trick.

4) Cowboy

Want a fun variation on face-to-face? Lie back and have him straddle you with his knees on the bed. In this position, he has total control over the angle, depth, and speed so you can enjoy the show.

Here’s a fun trick- have him slide all the way down (or at least, as far as he enjoys) and instead of moving up and down, he can swivel his hips from front to back, from side to side, or in circles. Your dildo or penis will massage his prostate with each move and he can try different speeds and directions to find the ones he likes most. This is a great way for you to take a break if you’ve been thrusting pretty hard. (Pegging is also great motivation for doing pilates. Just saying.)

5) On his side

This one can be a little tricky, but it’s worth it. He lies on his side on the bed and brings his upper knee to his chest. Both his hip and knee are bent at 90 degrees. Put a pillow under his knee, and straddle his lower leg. It won’t work for all folks- if he’s a lot bigger than you, you might have trouble reaching. But it’s super relaxing for him and it’s often a good choice for men with injuries or other mobility limitations.

So there you have it. Five great positions for pegging and anal intercourse. We have a lot more suggestions and tips in our book, so if you want to make pegging even more fun, grab a copy and see what fun you can get up to!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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January 19, 2013

Our Interview on Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino

Filed under: Interviews — Tags: , , , , — Charlie @ 10:05 am

If you missed our interview yesterday on Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino, here’s your chance to listen in! We talked about how to ask your partner to try prostate play, some favorite massage techniques, what to do if your sweetie thinks of anal play as domination (and you don’t), our upcoming tour, and much more. We had a great time with Tristan and I know you’ll enjoy hearing it.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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December 26, 2012

How Pegging Can Help Save The World

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 10:37 am

It’s a cliche that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, but that’s because there’s a lot of truth to that statement.  After all, once you’ve experienced something from another person’s perspective, it’s much easier to imagine what it’s like for them. That’s one reason why I think pegging can go a long way toward improving things. Pegging is the term for when women use dildos and strap-on harnesses with male partners. (Is there a different term when people of other genders use strap-ons with male partners?) And while the main reason people do it is because it’s lots of fun, I think there’s an added benefit that lots of folks don’t know about.

There have been plenty of books written about how male/female couples can improve their relationships by learning to see things from the other person’s perspective. Of course, that’s helpful for couples of all gender combinations and sexual orientations, but the differences in both biology and experience often create barriers for m/f pairs. Pegging is a surprisingly effective way to find out what sex is like for your partner.

For men who have never been on the receiving side of penetration, sex is something that happens outside the body. And when sex is external to your body, it can be easier to do when you have a headache or you’re not quite in the mood. A lot of men discover than when sex is about catching rather than pitching, their mood, their emotions, and their connection to a partner can often have a bigger influence on what they want to do and how it feels.

I’ve talked with quite a few men about what they’ve learned from pegging and although it isn’t universal, many of them have said that they have a better understanding how their female partners might need more warm-up before intercourse, or might be in the mood for sex but not penetration, or how much one’s pleasure can be affected by seemingly minor events. Granted, anal penetration is different from vaginal penetration, but my point is simply that a physical experience can be a much more effective teacher than reading a book, just as a picture is worth 1000 words.

On the flip side, when they try pegging, a lot of women discover how much work, responsibility, and (sometimes) power can go along with fucking someone. And that’s without worrying about their cock ejaculating too soon, getting soft at random moments, or being the wrong size (assuming they have choices- there are lots of dildo options out there).

So while I’m not suggesting that it’s a cure-all, I do think that trying out sex from the other side can make it easier to understand and have compassion for your partner. That isn’t limited to m/f couples or, for that matter, pegging. But given how many heterosexual folks have never tried strap-on play, it does seem like there’s an unmet need there. It won’t make communication miraculously easy and it won’t fix everything about sexism or gender-based inequities. What it can do (besides being lots of fun) is help people develop empathy, compassion, and understanding for their partners. And the more of that we have in the world, the better.


Want to try it out? Check out our book The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners for a great overview of how to do it. Or check out this page on pegging and anal intercourse for plenty of tips to get you started.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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December 12, 2012

Pegging for Femmes: The Sasha Couture Harness

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , — Charlie @ 9:07 am

There are lots of ways to enjoy pegging and lots of different harnesses on the market. For some women, wearing a strap-on can be a fun way to explore gender and role play. But other folks want a harness that has a more femme appearance. If that’s you, you’ll want to check out the Sasha Couture Harness.

Made from machine washable fabric, the Sasha brings a much different look to harnesses. The O-ring is integrated into the front panel so there are no snaps to bump into someone’s tender parts. The ribbon ties on the side let you wear it as booty shorts or as high-cut panties, and  you can add stockings with the detachable garters or take the straps off if you want a different look. With the decorative trim and ruched accents across the back, the overall look and feel is decidedly different from the usual leather harnesses.

The Sasha can accommodate dildos up to 2 1/4 inch wide, so it’ll work with almost any toy. And there are two pockets  for vibrating eggs to give both the wearer and the receiver a little extra thrill. All in all, the Sasha has a whole lot to make pegging as fun as it is stylish!

Most harnesses come with adjustable straps, but the Sasha simply pulls on. That makes it really easy to use, but you do need to pick the right size since the waist strap needs to be snug to give you a solid hold. Fortunately, they make it in a range of sizes:

XS: 26-28 in. (66-71cm)
Small: 29-32 in. (73-81cm)
Medium: 33-37 in. (83-94cm)
Large: 38-40 in. (96-101cm)
XL: 41-44 in. (104-111cm)
2X: 45-48 in. (114-122cm)
3X: 49-52 in. (124-132cm)

Here are some helpful sizing tips from the manufacturer:

Choose your harness size based on both your actual body measurements and body shape, not based on your typical pant or jean size, which varies significantly between brands, designs, and cuts. Please don’t skip this step: the right size harness will give you the most comfort and support, and will always look better than a size that’s just “almost right.”

GET THE CORRECT FIT:

1. Get your lower waist/hip measurement. Wrap a measuring tape around your waist, about 1 inch (2.5 cm) below your pelvic bone. Mark the number where the tape measure completes and crosses over itself.

2. Use that measurement, as well as your body shape, to determine your size. Sasha performs best when your body fills out the harness, so choosing the right size is crucial. You should take your body shape into account before selecting a size. To do so, think of your body in terms of moon phases:

FULL MOON bodies have beautiful, fuller curves.
If you were to view this body shape from the side, you would see a half-moon shape in rear, and a quarter to half-moon shape in front, where the stomach is. If you have a full moon shape…choose the next size up.

THREE-QUARTER MOON bodies have a balance of curves and planes.
If you were to view this body shape from the side, you would see a quarter-moon shape in front and a half-moon shape in rear, or a a flatter front stomach area and a fuller three quarter-moon in rear. This body shape typically has a fuller butt and, sometimes, wider hips. If you have a three-quarter moon shape…choose the next size up.

HALF-MOON bodies are curvier in rear, flatter in front.
If you were to view this body shape from the side, you would see a half-moon shape in rear. If you have a half-moon shape…stay to the size chart.

QUARTER /CRESCENT MOON bodies have gentler, less pronounced curves in rear.
If you were to view this body shape from the side, you would see a quarter (or crescent) shape sloping from the tailbone to the top of the thigh. If you have a quarter/crescent moon shape…choose the next size down. If you have a quarter/crescent moon shape in rear, BUT a quarter to full-moon

If pegging turns you on and you want a harness that’ll coordinate with your lingerie, you can’t do better than the Sasha. Pick one up and see for yourself!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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November 1, 2012

Get Into Position With The Liberator Wedge & Ramp

Filed under: Toy Reviews — Tags: , , , , — Charlie @ 5:05 pm

One of the most important things you can do to make anal penetration easy and pleasurable is to be able to relax into it. The muscles of your pelvic floor  almost never switch off. In fact, other than your heart, they’re some of the hardest working muscles in your body. The only time they relax (other than when you’re enjoying anal play) is when you go to the bathroom. Otherwise, they’re on the job, all the time.

It takes some practice to learn to turn these muscles off, especially for men since guys often have too-tight pelvic floors. If you spend a lot of time sitting, whether it’s at a desk or in a car, there’s a good chance your muscles have difficulty relaxing unless you learn how to do it. It’ll depend on your body, of course, and what position you’re in. Fortunately, there are some great products that can help a lot.

The Liberator Wedge and Ramp make it much easier to get into a comfortable position and stay there. Sure, you can just use a regular pillow but these offer some advantages that cushions from your couch simply don’t.

Both of these cushions are made from a dense foam, so they hold their shape and give you lots of support. They won’t compress down like your bed pillow does, so once you find the right position, you’ll stay there. Then, there’s a waterproof cover, which keeps the foam clean and unzips so you can toss it in the wash. On top of that, there’s a soft velour cover. Not only does it feel good on your skin, it also keeps the cushion from sliding on your bed when things get vigorous. Of course, it also unzips for easy cleaning.

The Wedge is smaller and it lends itself really well to positions like being on your back. It lifts your hips up for easy access and the angle is just right for pegging and anal intercourse, because having your hips above your shoulders makes penetration easier for the giver and the receiver. And if prostate massage is on the menu, it’s a lot easier for the giver to sit between your legs because you’re up higher.

That’s not all, of course. Since the Wedge gives you plenty of support, you don’t have to work at all to keep your legs in the right position. You might want to support your knees with your hands, but that’s a lot less effort than trying to do it when you’re flat on the bed. That means you can relax more, and that makes the whole experience much easier and more fun.

If you want, you can also turn over and lie across the Wedge, but I think the Ramp makes that work better because you can keep your spine straight instead of being in a back bend. And again, whether you have massage, pegging, or intercourse in mind, you can simply relax and melt into the firm support. You’ll be amazed at how much easier and more fun that makes things!

The Ramp also works if you want to be on your back, but it requires your partner to be tall enough to be able to reach you. It also helps if you have a pillow or the Wedge under your head. Either way, it’s a fantastic way to lie back and have a great time.

If your storage space is limited, get the Wedge since it’s smaller, so you can slide it under the bed. But if you have the room for the Ramp, it’s definitely worth adding to your collection. They both make relaxing into anal play a lot easier. Plus, if you enjoy cunnilingus or spanking, they help for that, too! All in all, these are great products that’ll put a smile on your face.

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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