It’s not often that we see a truly innovative product, but the folks at Aneros have another winner!
The Peridise is a fairly slim anal toy with an unusual design. Its shape causes the anus to relax much more than almost any other toy by stimulating involuntary peristaltic contractions. Peristalsis is the rhythmic contraction of the smooth muscles of the digestive system. Sometimes, the anus is held so tightly that it misses out on these contractions. We might hold too tightly in this part of the body for any of a number of reasons, but whatever the cause, it can hinder arousal, make anal play less pleasant, and just be uncomfortable.
When you insert the Peridise (use plenty of lube, please!), it gently stimulates the anal muscles to relax and reconnect to the peristaltic reflex. It also increases blood flow to the anus, which can heighten arousal and create some amazing sensations. The Peridise can help you develop greater awareness of your anal muscles and the subtle and amazingly pleasurable stimulation that anal play can offer. And the more you can tune into how anal stimulation feels, the easier it is to relax the muscles, which makes anal play more fun and allows for more intense prostate pleasure.
When you purchase the Peridise, you’ll get two models of slightly different sizes. Unlike most anal toys, the larger one is the starter one. Think of how much easier it is to hold a pen than a needle and you’ll understand why. The Peridise is made of hard plastic, so clean-up is a breeze and you can use any lubricant with it. At only 4″ (10cm) long, it’s an easy way to explore anal play.
The Peridise feels amazing on its own or when combined with genital stimulation, whether solo or with a partner. And unlike the Aneros MGX or their other products which are specifically designed for prostate play, the Peridise can be used by anyone who wants to enhance anal play. For beginners, it can help you develop the awareness to make penetration more fun. Folks with more experience with any play will be surprised at how much pleasure this toy can offer. Whether you’re new to anal play or a backdoor expert, you’ve never felt anything quite like the Peridise. Get yours today!
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
Most folks assume that the only people wearing strap-on dildos are women and transgender men. And while it’s true that those are probably the most likely harness users, cisgender men can also wear harnesses. But until SpareParts HardWear came out with the Deuce, there weren’t many options. Yes, some guys managed to use some other strap-ons, but they weren’t well designed for their anatomy and they weren’t all that successful. Fortunately, that’s now changed.
The Deuce’s design gives you a lot of options for sexy fun. The pouch is shaped like a jockstrap so you can keep your penis inside, if you like. That makes it a great choice for men who have erection difficulties, which is pretty common after having prostate surgery to treat cancer. It’s also a fantastic option when your partner prefers a different size than your own penis. I recently worked with a couple who both enjoyed anal intercourse, but his penis was too big for comfort. So they decided to try using a harness with a smaller dildo. I wasn’t sure whether they were planning on using it instead of his penis or as a warm-up to make intercourse easier, but either way, they were excited to have a new way to have fun.
Double Penetration Fun
Where the Deuce really shines, though, is in double penetration. Most folks who enjoy simultaneous vaginal and anal intercourse have had to arrange threesomes. But that’s not something everyone wants to do. Besides, while it can be fun, the positions that work for that are somewhat limited since you’re trying to fit three bodies together. With the Deuce, the guy wearing it slips his penis through the lower ring and wears a dildo in the upper one. If his partner is facing him, his penis will be in her ass and the dildo will be in her vagina. Facing the other way reverses that.
This combination lets you get into positions that a DP in a threesome can’t quite manage because you only have to fit two bodies together. You also get the dildo and his cock moving in unison, which rarely happens for long in a threesome. Of course, you have many more choices in size and shape when picking a dildo. (The Charm is awesome for this, by the way.) And lastly, the guy wearing the Deuce can feel the dildo against the shaft of his cock when thrusting, so there’s a lot of added pleasure for him.
Great For Sex With Erection Difficulties
If you’re thinking of checking out the Deuce because of erection difficulties, you might want to read the article Restoration of Satisfying Sex for a Castrated Cancer Patient with Complete Impotence: A Case Study. I know- it’s a terrible title. But the article has some really amazing stuff to offer. It details the story of a man who had a radical prostatectomy to treat prostate cancer and had complete erectile dysfunction afterward. For many men, this is a temporary situation, but for this fellow, it was permanent. At first, he resisted the idea of using a dildo and harness, but eventually gave it a try. While he was using it with his wife, she put some lube on her hand and stroked his cock as he thrust in and out. In his words:
There was little sensory difference between this act and intercourse—my penis was not in her vagina but it did not know that. It was in a wet, warm place being firmly mechanically stimulated. My hindbrain took over, and I carried the act through to orgasm, to the sexual satisfaction of both my partner and myself.
That’s pretty amazing and offers hope to a lot of men who have temporary or permanent erection difficulties for any reason, including health issues, stress, or having already had an ejaculatory orgasm. While this couple made it work before the Deuce was available, I’m willing to bet that they’d enjoy the Deuce more since it’s a better design for this use.
And can I just say that using a strap-on can be really freeing for guys? It takes a fair bit of practice and attention to have intercourse for a lot of us because we have to manage our stimulation and arousal. Too much and we ejaculate before we (or our partners) want. Too little and our erections might get softer than we need for penetration. Unless we use a medication like Viagra, most men are paying at least some attention to those competing challenges. When you use a dildo, you don’t have to think about that at all, which lets you focus entirely on giving your partner lot of pleasure.
I’m not saying that we should stop having intercourse the “regular” way or that we should assume that our partners want intercourse for hours. But you might be really surprised at how freeing it is to be able to please your partner without needing to think about anything else at the same time. Besides, if you enjoy being pegged, it’s pretty amazing to see what it’s like on the other side of the harness.
A Few Tips For Using The Deuce
Pick a dildo without testicles. You need to fit the base just above your penis, so you’ll want a toy with a round base, not with balls.
Make sure your partner is warmed up before trying double penetration. You’ll need to start off even more carefully than usual since there’s a lot happening all at once.
If you pull out completely, be sure to not let the dildo and your penis come into contact with each other since that could transmit lube and bacteria from her ass to her vagina- a big no-no! If they do touch, simply change the condom on whichever one is going into her vagina.
It’s much easier to get the dildo through the ring if you put a condom on it since that lubricates the shaft and lets the ring slip on.
So there you have it. The Deuce gives you a lot of options you probably didn’t even know existed. Double penetration without having to sift through OKCupid for another partner, more choices in size and positions, intercourse without an erection- the Deuce makes them all possible. And it’s machine washable, super comfortable, and is really well designed.
If you want to pick one up, head over to Good Vibrations and pick one up. While you’re there, be sure to check out the dildos and lubricants. They’ve got lots of great ones to choose from!
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
I’m always amazed at how many ways our culture tries to separate sexual response based on gender. Of course, there are many differences in how male and female sexuality work, but we have a lot more in common with folks of other genders than you might realize.
That’s because our sexual organs come from the same basic template. Depending on hormones and development, they grow into different patterns but the fundamental structures are much the same. For example, the penis and the clitoris are remarkably similar. They’re both made of erectile tissue that engorges during arousal and they have very similar nerves, which means that they respond to the same kinds of stimulation. That means (among other things) that a vibrator on the head of the penis can feel amazing and I’m always surprised that more guys haven’t tried it. Believe me- if you’ve never explored it, you’re missing out.
The outer labia and the skin of the scrotum are also pretty similar, which is why a lot of people of any gender enjoy a stretching or massage sensation there. Try gently gripping the skin between your thumb and index finger, and tug gently (or not so gently, if your partner prefers). It can be a great add-on during oral sex or a handjob.
Of course, we can’t forget the nipples. I’ve often heard it said that the clitoris is the only part of the body with no function other than pleasure. May I introduce you to men’s nipples? Kissing, biting, sucking, pinching, twisting- start off softly and ramp up. You might be surprised at how many guys love it just as much as women do.
With all of these pleasures we have in common, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise to hear that the prostate and the G-spot are pretty similar, too. Once you get past the fact that the prostate is best reached through anal penetration while most folks find vaginal play to be the best way to find the G-spot, most of the techniques are the same. Firm pressure (“stroke, don’t poke”) with either a curved toy or one with a bulb on the end usually feels amazing. If you’re using your fingers, the “come here” motion, circles, or sliding across with your fingertips are often favorites. And a lot of people like to combine prostate play with cock stimulation, just as G-spot play plus clitoral stimulation drives a lot of people wild.
That’s not all! Both prostate and G-spot orgasms are often described as bigger, more expansive, or more full-body than the focused or more concentrated orgasms folks often have from penis or clitoris stimulation.
Hitting the Spot: Prostate Play & G-spot Pleasure
Annex ~ Center for Sex Positive Culture
1608 15th Ave. W., Seattle, WA 98119
March 2, 2013
3pm – 6pm, workshop from 3-5pm
18+ with ID only
$25 at door; $20 in advance
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
Prostate massage and prostate milking are two of the most popular ways to bring your partner some amazing pleasure. Your fingers are incredibly sensitive to every small change in your lover’s response and there are a lot of different techniques you can use to tease and arouse. Plus, you can combine your favorite finger moves with oral sex or a handjob, which will make your guy’s toes curl! But however you like to do it, you’ll want a high-quality lubricant to keep things slippery and fun.
When it comes to lube, everyone’s a bit different so you’ll need to try a few out to see what works best for you. It’s similar to shampoo or skin lotion- some people really don’t mind and others have specific brands that they find works best for them. And with so many options on the market these days, it can seem like there are too many choices to pick just one. Here are a few tips to make it easier.
Ingredients
One of the most important factors is what your lube is made from. Water-based formulas are really easy to clean up since they just rinse off in the shower, and they come in a wide range of textures and formulas . However, your body will absorb the water in them after a while, which makes them dry out. That means you’ll need to keep adding more a bit more often than some other kinds of lube.
Silicone lubricants won’t be absorbed by your body, so they last longer. Plus, they don’t dry out, which means a little goes a long way. But they do require soap and water to clean up and they can stain some sheets, so put a towel on the bed before you get started. If you’re using a silicone toy, some of these lubes can damage them. Roll a condom over the toy, all the way down over the base, to keep the lubricant off.
Hybrid lubricants offer the best of both worlds. They contain both silicone for slipperiness and water-based ingredients for easy cleaning. While not as long-lasting as pure silicone, they have great staying power and many people find them more convenient.
Texture
For pegging and anal intercourse, most people prefer thicker lubricants because they give you some extra cushioning for the back-and-forth motion. For prostate massage, though, that’s often less of an issue since your fingers usually aren’t moving as deeply or as quickly. So while a thick formula is definitely worth trying, it’s worth experimenting with a thinner one. Which one you and your partner like will be affected by what massage or milking moves you enjoy.
Three Great Lubricants
Please Cream Lubricant by Pleasure Works is a great choice if you want a super slick time. The light, creamy texture feels amazing and the long-lasting formula has been getting a lot of fans. It’s fantastic for for prostate massage and milking since you won’t have any stickiness to get in the way of your pleasure.
It’s primarily water-based, but Please Cream does contain a small amount of silicone to make it more slippery. However, it’s safe with silicone toys because of the small concentration. Another plus to Please Cream is that many of the ingredients are all-natural, and it’s glycerin-free and paraben-free. Glycerin can be irritating when used anally and some people have concerns about parabens and safety, making this is an excellent option.
If you want a lube with a little more cushioning, give Please Gel Lubricant a try. The thicker texture makes sure it stays in place and it’s great for folks who are more sensitive or who like an in-and-out motion. But don’t worry- unlike some thicker lubricants, Please Gel is still very slippery. Like Please Cream, this one is glycerin- and paraben-free and it’s safe to use with silicone toys. If your prostate massage is a warm-up to pegging or intercourse, start off with the Cream and then switch to the Gel to get the best of both worlds.
Both Please Cream and Gel come in different sizes, so you can see what you think before stocking up. And the single-use packets are great for traveling since you don’t have to carry a whole bottle. (They’re airport security-friendly, too!)
If you want long-lasting and cushioning, Wet Synergy is a fantastic choice. It’s a blend of water-based and silicone ingredients, which makes it easy to clean and incredibly long-lasting. It’s thick enough to be really comfortable, while being slippery enough to allow for all kinds of massage fun. One of the best things about Wet Synergy is that you get the incredible experience of a silicone lubricant without any difficulty with cleanup. A shower, or even wiping up with a damp washcloth, takes care of it. And since it’s a thicker formula, it stays right where you put it.
If you’re planning on using a silicone toy after your massage fun, you have two choices. You can cover your toy with a condom, or you can do a spot test. Put a little Synergy on the underside of the base and let it sit for five minutes before wiping it off. If there’s a sticky or raised spot, you have an incompatible toy. Some reviewers have reported that high-quality silicone toys, like those made by Vixen, Tantus, and Fun Factory are fine with Synergy, but be sure to check yours, just in case.
Once you have the perfect lubricant, there are lots of ways to enjoy prostate massage. Whether you’re just starting out or you’re looking for some new tricks to drive your guy wild, we have lots of suggestions in our book. Pick up your copy at Good Vibrations or on Amazon and see for yourself how much fun you can have!
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
We’re really excited to get the word out about prostate play and we couldn’t do it without our fantastic sponsors. They’re as dedicated as we are to helping you have the best sex possible and they make some of the best toys and other products for prostate pleasure and pegging. Working with them is truly an honor.
Aneros is the original maker of the hands-free prostate massage toy. Originally designed as a medical device for men who had certain prostate health issues, their product was quickly discovered to provide intense pleasure that nothing else had done before. The MGX Classic is a perfect one to start with. And if you’re ready to ramp up, try the Vice or the Helix Syn. Whether you use them solo or with a partner, they’ll give you a ride you won’t forget!
If you’re looking for the best sex toys around and amazing information about sex and pleasure, go to Good Vibrations. I had the honor to work there for over 16 years and I have to say- these people know what they’re talking about. Whether you visit the store, call their customer service folks, or explore the website, you can be sure that you’re getting the answers you need and the products you want. And of course, you can get all the goodies that make prostate play lots of fun: lubricants, dildos, strap-on harnesses, sex position pillows, and of course, our book. (It’ll be on their site soon.)
Good Vibrations defined what sex-positive toy companies do and they continue to pave the way. So when you’re looking for something to make sex hot, make them your go-to source. And remember- Valentine’s Day is coming up!
If there’s one thing that everyone needs for anal play, it’s a high quality lubricant. Finding the right one can take a little experimentation, since everyone’s a bit different, but trust me- it’ll make your prostate play a lot more fun. A lot of people like silicone lubes because they’re so slippery and long-lasting. Wet Platinum is a great one to try. If you want something with a bit more cushioning, try Wet Uranus, available in silicone and water-based formulas. Or give Synergy a try. Part silicone for extra slipperiness, and part water-based for easy cleanup. It’s the best of both worlds!
If pegging is in your plans, you’ll want a dildo from Vixen Creations. They come in lots of sizes, shapes, and colors and since they’re made from body-safe silicone, they’re hypoallergenic, non-porous, and easy to clean. Just wash with soap and water and you’re good to go. Want to bump it up a notch? After washing it, put it in boiling water for five minutes or the top rack of a dishwasher. And if you want a super-realistic toy, check out their VixSkin products. They have a firmer core and a softer surface layer to give that real-as-life feel. No other dildo comes close!
Of course, you’ll also want a harness for your pegging fun and nobody makes them as sexy as SpareParts HardWear! Unlike some of the more utilitarian harnesses, these are as gorgeous as they are functional. The Joque gives you amazing control when you play. The Sasha Couture brings a sexy femme look to your strap-on fun. And the Tomboi Brief is incredibly comfortable, with a pull-on design to make you look suave and sleek. The attention to detail makes it clear that the folks at SpareParts know what they’re doing. Their harnesses are amazing and will make you feel as sexy as you look.
Whether you’re new to prostate fun or you’re an aficionado, get the most out of your adventures with these toys. They’re sure to put a big smile on your face!
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
Our book launch at Good Vibrations last night was a perfect way to get our tour off to a great start! We had over 40 people show up, which just goes to show how much prostate play is getting folks as excited as we are about it.
Aislinn & I started off talking about the book, sharing some stories about her inspiration to create it and how we ended up working together. We had plenty of fun anecdotes from our surveys and interviews, including some surprising discoveries. And of course, we had plenty to say about how prostate massage and pegging can enhance your sex life, whether you’re doing it solo or with a partner.
But it was when we opened it to Q&A that things really got hot. We fielded questions about everything from how to introduce the idea to a partner, to what differences we found between gay men and heterosexual men when it comes to prostate fun, to how to tell when you’re massaging it correctly (hint: “stroke, don’t poke”), to whether Kegel exercises can be helpful. It’s always lots of fun to geek out with Aislinn, especially for the Good Vibrations crowd. They had so many great questions!
I have to say that it was a real thrill to get to sign books, too. The book only arrived in the store a few days ago, so this was our very first time (other than the copy I gave to my sweetie). And seeing so many people who were looking forward to going home and trying out some of our tips was amazing!
We’d love to see you there! And if you’re not in the San Francisco area, we’ll be hitting the road. Between us, Aislinn & I will be bringing prostate pleasure to every major city in the US and lots of smaller towns, too. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Google+ for updates, or check out our event page. So far, we’re booked for Boston, Portland OR, Seattle, San Francisco, Baltimore, San Rafael CA, Santa Cruz, and San Diego, with lots more in the works. If you’d like to have us come to your town, get in touch and we’ll see what we can set up.
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
After talking with over 200 men and their partners, asking urologists and medical experts for feedback, finding the best tips and toys for prostate fun, and more conversation about how to describe the many techniques we heard about, Aislinn and I are incredibly excited and proud to see our book in print. The folks at Cleis Press have all been amazing to work with- their input and suggestions helped us write a remarkable book. You can pick up your own copy at sex-positive toy stores like Good Vibrations, as well as Amazon.com.
We’re both looking forward to the launch parties on January 31 at Good Vibrations Valencia St. and February 6 at Good Vibrations Oakland. After that, we’ll be traveling across the country, giving workshops and helping more people discover how much fun prostate play can be! Here are some of our upcoming events:
Feb 28 The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure at SheBop, Portland, OR
March 3 The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure at Babeland Seattle
March 18 The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure at Sugar, Baltimore MD
March 26 Pegging 101 at the SF Citadel, San Francisco
We’ll also be doing a special event at Catalyst in March and we’re planning more workshops and signings in Seattle, LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, and then across the US! Follow us on twitter or facebook to keep up on all of our travels!
And if you want to find some excellent toys for prostate play, check out our sponsors: Good Vibrations, Aneros, SpareParts HardWear, Wet Lubricants, and Vixen Creations. If you’re looking for an amazing ride, these are the folks who have the goodies to put a smile on your face.
Wish us luck as we get our tour on the road and be sure to come say hi when we’re in your town!
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
If you missed our interview yesterday on Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino, here’s your chance to listen in! We talked about how to ask your partner to try prostate play, some favorite massage techniques, what to do if your sweetie thinks of anal play as domination (and you don’t), our upcoming tour, and much more. We had a great time with Tristan and I know you’ll enjoy hearing it.
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
Plenty of folks like realistic dildos for their prostate play, and there are lots of options out there. Maybe it’s the extra bit of life-like appearance that makes the fantasy work. Maybe it’s the shape of the head as it slides across the prostate. But when it comes to finding a dildo that looks and feels as much like a penis as possible, you can’t do better than VixSkin dildos from Vixen Creations.
VixSkin is 100% silicone, so just like other silicone toys, it’s easy to clean. Soap and hot water does a great job, and if you want to take it even further, wash it and then put it in boiling water for five minutes or the top rack of a dishwasher. VixSkin is non-porous, body-safe, and hypoallergenic. But what really makes it an amazing material is the texture.
Silicone dildos are made by pouring the liquid silicone into a mold and then pulling them out after it sets. That gives them a consistent texture throughout the entire length of the toy. VixSkin is made the same way, but there’s a firmer inner core that’s then put in a mold for a second time and coated with a softer outer layer. When you squeeze the shaft with your hand, it has a texture much more like a penis than any other dildo on the market. Plus, the head of the toy is almost entirely made from the softer layer, so it has that same squishy feel that penises have. Not only is that more realistic, it’s also more comfortable during deep penetration.
Buck 6″ x 2″
Outlaw 8-½” x 2″
VixSkin dildos are more flexible than most other silicone toys. That add some extra realism, and it also makes pegging a little easier since the dildo flexes when you shift positions. A really firm dildo can feel great, but if you’re not at just the right angle, it can poke. That extra bit of bendability can make a big difference.
Another advantage of VixSkin is that the softer texture makes anal penetration easier. If you’re new to anal play, you might find these dildos a great way to start. And if you get turned on by playing with larger toys, VixSkin’s extra give makes them easier to accommodate. Heads up, though- the extra flexibility can make them a little trickier to use in a harness, at least until you get used to it.
The only downside to VixSkin is that silicone lubricants can damage the material. So use a water-based lube or cover your toy with a condom, all the way over the base.
You can get VixSkin in a variety of sizes and colors, though they mostly come in an approximation three different skin tones. The Vixen website offers all of the available choices, and you can get lots of them at stores like Good Vibrations. Because of the extra steps in manufacturing, they do cost a bit more than some other options, but if you want something that looks amazing and feels fantastic, they’re definitely worth it. And even if you don’t care about the realism factor, the texture and the flexibility are major pluses. So pick one up today and see for yourself why these toys truly are “worth every inch.”
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
It’s a cliche that before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, but that’s because there’s a lot of truth to that statement. After all, once you’ve experienced something from another person’s perspective, it’s much easier to imagine what it’s like for them. That’s one reason why I think pegging can go a long way toward improving things. Pegging is the term for when women use dildos and strap-on harnesses with male partners. (Is there a different term when people of other genders use strap-ons with male partners?) And while the main reason people do it is because it’s lots of fun, I think there’s an added benefit that lots of folks don’t know about.
There have been plenty of books written about how male/female couples can improve their relationships by learning to see things from the other person’s perspective. Of course, that’s helpful for couples of all gender combinations and sexual orientations, but the differences in both biology and experience often create barriers for m/f pairs. Pegging is a surprisingly effective way to find out what sex is like for your partner.
For men who have never been on the receiving side of penetration, sex is something that happens outside the body. And when sex is external to your body, it can be easier to do when you have a headache or you’re not quite in the mood. A lot of men discover than when sex is about catching rather than pitching, their mood, their emotions, and their connection to a partner can often have a bigger influence on what they want to do and how it feels.
I’ve talked with quite a few men about what they’ve learned from pegging and although it isn’t universal, many of them have said that they have a better understanding how their female partners might need more warm-up before intercourse, or might be in the mood for sex but not penetration, or how much one’s pleasure can be affected by seemingly minor events. Granted, anal penetration is different from vaginal penetration, but my point is simply that a physical experience can be a much more effective teacher than reading a book, just as a picture is worth 1000 words.
On the flip side, when they try pegging, a lot of women discover how much work, responsibility, and (sometimes) power can go along with fucking someone. And that’s without worrying about their cock ejaculating too soon, getting soft at random moments, or being the wrong size (assuming they have choices- there are lots of dildo options out there).
So while I’m not suggesting that it’s a cure-all, I do think that trying out sex from the other side can make it easier to understand and have compassion for your partner. That isn’t limited to m/f couples or, for that matter, pegging. But given how many heterosexual folks have never tried strap-on play, it does seem like there’s an unmet need there. It won’t make communication miraculously easy and it won’t fix everything about sexism or gender-based inequities. What it can do (besides being lots of fun) is help people develop empathy, compassion, and understanding for their partners. And the more of that we have in the world, the better.
I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com">sex & relationship coach</a>, and a <a href="http://www.makesexeasy.com/hands-on-coaching/">certified somatic sex educator</a>. I teach <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/workshops/">workshops and seminars</a> on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. <a href="http://www.charlieglickman.com/contact/">Contact me</a> for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.
It’s not often that we see a truly innovative product, but the folks at Aneros have another winner!
Aneros
