Getting Started With Anal Penetration

Anal sex isn’t rocket science. If you want it to feel great, you just need to know a few simple steps. Whether you’re new to anal exploration and prostate pleasure, or you’re experienced and want to get some new tips, we have lots of suggestions for you!

There are three key ingredients you need to make everything easy and fun: relaxation, lubrication, and communication.*


Contrary to popular belief, anal play isn’t about stretching the anus. Instead, it’s about being able to relax it open. We have lots of suggestions to help you relax into it and enjoy the ride.


Since the anus and rectum don’t lubricate on their own, check out our tips for picking the right lubricant. There are a lot of choices on the market these days and we make it easy to find one that’ll work for you.


Although it’s important for all sex, good communication is essential for anal penetration and prostate play. We have some useful tips for talking with your partner, whether you’re just thinking about it or you want to make it even more fun, and whether you’re the giver or the receiver.

Some Important Safety Info

Prostate toys are a great way to add a little extra zing to your p-spot pleasure. Be sure that anything you use has a base on it to keep it from slipping inside and “getting lost” (which can land you in the ER), is smooth so it doesn’t irritate or hurt the sensitive anus and rectum, and is made from a non-porous material such as silicone or hard plastic.

We’re also big fans of gloves for prostate massage. They make sure any rough edges on your fingernails don’t hurt and they make clean-up a snap. If you’re worried about it feeling too medical, you might find that after a few fun sessions, the sound of a glove snapping onto a wrist takes on a whole new meaning!

Now that you have the basics, you can get started with your prostate pleasure. Of course, we have plenty of suggestions for how to make it even easier and lots more fun. Grab a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure and see for yourself!

* We’re grateful to Dr. Carol Queen and Dr. Robert Lawrence for teaching and talking about anal play, and for sharing this language with us.