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April 4, 2013

Does Anal Sex Cause Hemorrhoids?

Filed under: Sex Tips — Tags: , , — Charlie @ 10:59 pm

Here’s a question I got on Facebook:

Do you have a grasp of the research on the link between anal sex as a cause for hemorrhoids? Any chance you’ve encountered something like a metastudy?

Some sex educators and columnists claim there’s no link. And I see some medical sites do claim a link, but these same sites also use weirdly moralizing tones about anal sex (i.e. it’s not natural, not designed for sex, etc).

While there’s not much good research on the topic, here’s what I can tell you.

Hemorrhoids are like varicose veins, but instead of happening in the legs, they happen in the blood vessels in the anus. They can occur when the pelvic and anal muscles are too tight, which traps blood in the veins, so they bulge out, sort of like a bicycle innertube pushing out through a weak spot in the tire. There are different reasons people get them such as constipation causing them to squeeze extra hard when they have a bowel movement, the extra pressure on the pelvic floor during pregnancy, or long term stress making the pelvic muscles tighten for extended periods without relaxing (especially during prolonged sitting or driving). Unfortunately, a minor case of hemorrhoids can be uncomfortable, causing an itching or burning sensation. That feeling can, in turn, make the anus tighten further and create an ongoing cycle of discomfort and muscle tension.

Some folks wonder whether anal sex can cause hemorrhoids, but when it’s done correctly, anal sex can actually help you avoid them by helping the pelvic floor to relax. The trick is to never go further than your body is capable of enjoying because if you do, it’ll make the muscles tighten up. In fact, mild cases of hemorrhoids can be helped by gentle anal massage, in much the same way that any tight muscles can be encouraged to relax through massage. I’m talking about a finger, a slim buttplug, or perhaps one of the Aneros products. The goal is to be very slow, and very mild. It’s not about sexual stimulation as much as soft touch. Given the discomfort, you probably don’t want to have much anal play when you have a case of hemorrhoids, anyway. If you’re experiencing hemorrhoids, it can also help to slip on a glove and lubricate the anus a before bowel movement in order to reduce how much you need to squeeze. That’s especially beneficial if you’re having constipation or for pregnant women.

It is possible for anal sex to lead to hemorrhoids when it’s not done right. If, for example, you don’t use enough lubricant or if you go faster than your body prefers, you can end up irritating the sensitive anal tissues. That can cause the muscles to tighten up in response to the discomfort, which can lead to hemorrhoids. Anecdotally, I’ve heard of this happening when folks are drunk or stoned past the point of being able to pay attention to the signals during sex that would be telling them to add lube or slow down. The same thing can happen when the receiver doesn’t feel comfortable telling their partner what they need during anal sex. And if you have a minor case of hemorrhoids, anal play can irritate them and make them worse.

So the answer to your question is: sort of. Anal sex really does require a fair bit of know-how to do safely and pleasurably, just as lifting weights needs to be done correctly to avoid injury. That’s why we have a whole chapter devoted just to that in our book.

And yes, a lot of people do have some unfortunate anal-phobic attitudes. That doesn’t mean that they know what they’re talking about. After all, lifting weights isn’t all that “natural” either, but I’ve never heard anyone say that people shouldn’t do it on that account. So don’t let those attitudes get in your way. Listen to your body, follow the pleasure, and have fun!


If you have questions about any kind of sex or sexual health issue, drop me a note through our contact form, through my website, or through Facebook. I’m always happy to track down info and help you have the best sex you can!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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September 20, 2012

Kegels Make Prostate Play Easier

Filed under: Prostate Health — Tags: , — Charlie @ 1:15 pm

from the Magnus Hirschfeld Archive for Sexology

It’s a pretty good bet that if you’ve heard of Kegel exercises, you’ve only heard about them for women. After all, there have been plenty of articles that talk about how strengthening the PC muscle can help women who experience urinary incontinence, improve sexual response, and intensify orgasms. But did you know that men have PC muscles, too?

The pubococcygeus muscle runs from the pubic bone in front to the coccyx in back. It’s a hammock-like muscle, with openings for the rectum and urethra. It’s one of the muscles that propels semen during ejaculation and if you’ve ever made your penis bounce when you had an erection, the PC muscle is probably what was doing it.

It’s pretty common for men to have PC muscles that are both tight and weak. If you spend too much time sitting at a desk or in a car, you can put a lot of pressure on the muscle and that can make it lose tone, which can have several different effects on sexual response. For example, if the PC muscle gets tired easily, your orgasms will be both shorter and less intense. It can also lead to erection difficulties, and it can make anal penetration more challenging. Fortunately, it’s easy to deal with.

The first step is to figure out how to squeeze the PC muscle. The best way to do that is to sit on the toilet and start to urinate. Then, stop the flow. That muscle you used was the PC. Once you know how to isolate it, you can squeeze and relax it to build tone. You don’t want to do that by stopping the flow of urine- that’s just for the first time to make sure you found the right muscle. The exercises are called Kegels since Dr. Arnold Kegel published the first research paper on them in 1948.

Some easy ways to tone the muscle once you’ve found it are:

  • squeeze & release on a two-count
  • squeeze & release on a four-count
  • squeeze and hold, followed by a release
  • butterflies- quick squeezes followed by a release

It’s important to release and relax the PC muscle. You definitely don’t want to cause muscle spasms. And as a personal trainer will tell you, letting the muscle rest is how it builds tone.

But more important than that, when you can control the PC muscle and help it relax, you make receiving anal penetration easier. That’s because it’s all about relaxing the pelvic floor, not forcing it to stretch. Kegel exercises are a great way to learn how to do that “on command,” so it becomes much easier to do prostate play. You might also find that your orgasms last longer since the muscles don’t get tired as quickly, and you might also have firmer erections, too.

Of course, it can be hard to remember to do your Kegel exercises or to do them right. If you have an iphone, check out the app Kegel Camp, created by Emily Morse of the Sex With Emily podcast. It’ll remind you each day to do your Kegels and you have to complete each level five times within a week to ramp up to the next one. With 20 levels to do, it’s an excellent way to make sure you don’t overdo it. Plus, the app comes with a discount code for 15% off at Good Vibrations, where you can find lots of amazing prostate toys, lubricants, and more!

One important thing to know about Kegels: if you’re experiencing pelvic pain or muscle spasms, it’s a good idea to get that checked before toning the PC muscle. Tightening muscles that are already too tight can make it worse. Remember- the goal is to be able to both squeeze and relax. I highly recommend the Pelvic Health Rehabilitation Center for that. They work with people of all genders who are dealing with pelvic pain and they’re available for phone consultation. If you can’t make it to one of their offices, I’d trust any recommendation of theirs for a resource in your area.

Whether you’re new to prostate pleasure or you’ve been doing it for a while, try doing your Kegels. And we’d love to hear from you about how it affected things. Drop us a note or comment below and let us know how Kegels changed your prostate fun!

Charlie

Charlie

I'm a writer, blogger, teacher, workshop facilitator, sex & relationship coach, and a certified somatic sex educator. I teach workshops and seminars on many different sexuality topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, communities of erotic affiliation, many different sexual practices, gender & masculinity, and sexual politics. Contact me for more information, to arrange a speaking engagement, or to find out how I can help you create an amazing sex life.

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